You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
When are your genitals available?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
