do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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