Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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