I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
