Redeem this text for a blowjob
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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