My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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