Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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