My vagina just recognized that song.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize