so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
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Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize