Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize