If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
