Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

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(818): View more from California

I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".

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(318): View more from Louisiana

i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..

(1-318): View more from Louisiana

what?how do you know?

(318): View more from Louisiana

it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(501): View more from Arkansas

So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.

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(706): View more from Georgia

In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.

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(404): View more from Georgia

It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.

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(216): View more from Ohio

For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.

(1-216): View more from Ohio

Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.

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