everyone is single if you try hard enough
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend