Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.

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  (203): he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/z649
  Replies (27) Good night (6410) Bad night (554)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Successful day.

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  (512): I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave. (573): Successful day. http://tfl.nu/6nom
  Replies (26) Good night (4342) Bad night (1250)
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  (209): View more from California

  what is college for if not random hookup sex?

  (951): View more from California

  learning.

  (209): View more from California

  i would literally fuck learning if i could.

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  (209): what is college for if not random hookup sex? (951): learning. (209): i would literally fuck learning if i could. http://tfl.nu/3rtk
  Replies (50) Good night (9507) Bad night (837)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.

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  (815): grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese. http://tfl.nu/k9i9
  Replies (21) Good night (4244) Bad night (1283)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.

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  (256): My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred. http://tfl.nu/j0t5
  Replies (18) Good night (3911) Bad night (1015)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that

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  (734): I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that http://tfl.nu/jwk4
  Replies (12) Good night (3674) Bad night (895)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...

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  (602): Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship... http://tfl.nu/dw4u
  Replies (23) Good night (1077) Bad night (6588)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.

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  (740): Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party. http://tfl.nu/kjr7
  Replies (6) Good night (3553) Bad night (1023)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water

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  (919): I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water http://tfl.nu/62v1
  Replies (2) Good night (442) Bad night (1596)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.

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  (561): I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree. http://tfl.nu/yxk6
  Replies (11) Good night (1429) Bad night (453)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.

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  (920): But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers. http://tfl.nu/588y
  Replies (6) Good night (1274) Bad night (411)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.

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  (207): Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk. http://tfl.nu/4vbt
  Replies (4) Good night (1672) Bad night (481)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus

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  (765): I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus http://tfl.nu/x9kg
  Replies (3) Good night (1104) Bad night (519)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.

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  (765): So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor. http://tfl.nu/2e0y
  Replies (6) Good night (1394) Bad night (436)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon

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  (306): just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon http://tfl.nu/m55k
  Replies (1) Good night (593) Bad night (204)

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