You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
