my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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