My brain says no but my pants say off.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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