It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
