Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
