he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
