how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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