Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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