The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
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Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
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EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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