honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
