He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
