Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize