Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
