what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
