I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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