do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just pee around me
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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