I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
