Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
