he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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