it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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