Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
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