Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
