i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he shaved USA in his pubs
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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