Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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