playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
