She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
