i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
