he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sext me about skeletons
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
