It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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