I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she smelled like a LAN party
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
