so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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