How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
