Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
