At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize