I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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