Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
