we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
