she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im holly from the hills drunk
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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