I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
