My nipple is on Facebook.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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