But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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