I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
