Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
