oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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