I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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