we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
