It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
