Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
